yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
