If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
