Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
