marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
