I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
