can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
