there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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