brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
