I want to make a zoo with you.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
