I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
