And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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