Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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