Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
