y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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