new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
