Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
