with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
