just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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