Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
