I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
