hotel room ftw
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
