i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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