Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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