Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
