But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Randomize
