I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
home. puking in laundry basket.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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