I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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