did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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