I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
