Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
