You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
one two three fourrrrnication!
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
