He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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