I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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