i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Randomize
