tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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