You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize