I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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