Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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