On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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