She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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