So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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