He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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