For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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