i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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