I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
