just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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