Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
