I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
