i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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