So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
