so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
