Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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