i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We were destined to go to rehab together
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
