planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
