6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
