uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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