I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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