think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
