i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
