I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Randomize
