this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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