Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
