I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
